A new whole chapter
I believe that life is like writing a book. A book with many chapters, climax and definitely endings. I have recently ended a chapter in my life. A chapter which was filled with tears and a feeling of relief. I couldn't believe that it has already been a week since he passed away, or no I mean passed on. It was 21 August 2008, 8.30pm.My late Yayi has passed on. I am sad for the fact that I felt that I have lost him forever but I am relieved that he is no longer suffering or in pain. But I realized that he has not left me but he will forever be watching me, forever in my heart. I have not lost him, i have him closer to me now. But I must say that I really miss him a lot. It feels different going to my grandma house and not seeing him there, the house seems so quiet.
I miss seeing him sitting at that black chair beside the kitchen with his walking stick beside him. I miss seeing him with his white singlet,kain pelekat and songkok haji. I miss going to his house and call him yayi and he will say 'eh amah' and he will smile from end to end. I miss his jokes and always saying that my brother is really tall. I miss his wise words. I miss massaging him and stroking his head. Till now his last words to me will forever be ringing in my head. "Amah, yayi nak mati." and I told him to rest, sleep and not think too much. He just nodded. But I didn't expect him to sleep forever. He held my hand and rubbed it. I didn't want to let go of him. I didn't get to see him during his last moments. How i wish i could but to know from my uncle that he left peacefully, it gave me a sigh of relief. Now, he is no longer suffering.
Tomorrow will be the start of Ramadhan a.k.a Fasting month. Arwah Yayi wont be around with us and I don't know how i will i take it, going to my grandma house without Yayi around for Hari Raya. It will be different but I am happy that I still have Nenek around. Let bygones be bygones. I don't want my grandpa to see how sad I am. I will take each step a day and it will take time to heal.
If people asked me how he died, i won't tell them but instead I will tell them how he lived.
He was a wise man with a big heart. I miss you so much Yayi. Will forever be missing you and loving you always. I wanna thank all those who had been there for me through this rough time. Thanks for making me look at it in a positive way. Thanks for comforting me. Love you all so much. Thanks for being there for me. :)
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With sadness there will soon be happiness.We are welcoming another member to the family. My sis went for her ultrasound and yes, I WON! It's a girl!! Yeah..Girl Power. Samad family is ruled by girls. Hahaha. Now the parents gonna be are busy choosing names. My parents are all excited, they are already thinking what their grandchild will be calling them. Haha. How I can't wait. Girl = shopping + make over! hahaha. My sis and Abg Halim gonna have a headache.
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It was a very busy weekend. We shifted all the boxes and furnitures of our old house. I wanna thank all those who helped. Hehe, panchit ledi. Tomorrow working already and tomorrow is the start of the fasting month. This will be my first time fasting while working.
**P.S Sorry for not updating after such a long time.**